Discovering Ourselves

 

It was in my fourth year in college when my instructor Prof. Gualberto G. Montecillo introduced to me the JOHARI WINDOW, as part of the lesson in the subject, Introduction to Administration and Supervision.

My young mind was so amazed with these four quadrants. Minus the blind area where you and others may not otherwise know you, this quadrant of how others know us, yet ourselves know nothing about is quite relevant. So we tend to discover more of ourselves.

There are some things in us that we don’t want them to be exposed in public. We just keep it in ourselves. It may include personal experiences and feelings that we hide and keep it in private, even to our family and closest friends. Others call that – skeleton in the closet. Fear of not being accepted and the fear of not being “in” may sometimes cause why we don’t like others to tell them how we think, and what we have done.

We sometimes feel ashamed and fear of being left out if they would know the truth about our real personality. We tend to hide our emotions, cry in private, and choose to be left alone, rather than broadcast those feelings in fear of what our friends may think about us. Some people are afraid of being called as weird, nerd, geek, or being different from all the rest. People choose to cry in private to hide their deepest feelings and emotions. We wear the mask everyday, looking radiant and joyful, where in fact, we are hurt deep inside. All these are just to hide our real us, afraid that the accusing world around us will judge indifferently our feelings and emotions.

Somehow we discover more of ourselves, our strengths and the things we are capable of doing; principles and values that we care most; tough and difficult decisions to pursue – through other people. Listed here are some of fictional characters who ultimately find and discover themselves through other people. Though these are lifted from a fiction literature, yet I find these insights helpful in our quest of discovering ourselves too – in real life.

American girl Allyson in the books JUST ONE DAY and JUST ONE NIGHT, both by Gayle Forman, discovered herself in the process of looking laid-back Dutch actor Wilhem, a year of self-discovery that embarks her into a journey to break herself free from a lifetime of limits in order to find her true passions and even true love.

Cody discovers more of herself when she tried to uncover the mystery why her best friend Meg committed suicide, from the book I WAS HERE, also by Gayle Forman.

Luke and Sophia in the book THE LONGEST RIDE by Nicholas Sparks were able to battle difficult decisions in life through Ira and Ruth Levinson.

Q discovers more of himself, the value of friendship and family while in a road trip to find the missing Margo, in the book PAPER TOWNS by John Green.

All these and more, can also be relevant in our quest to discover who we are. As Luke puts it in book, THE LONGEST RIDE, “Even an accident has purpose and direction.”